About Dani
In 2006 I watched much of my life flush down the drain. My career, my livelihood, people I cared about, all gone in an instant. I suffered a very traumatic mental and emotional break and just let go of everything close to my heart. I picked up and tried to run away from a reality that had become too much for me. The next two years that followed were a roller coaster. I was following the advice of an attorney to just pick up and do whatever I could to get back on track. I just started going through the motions with no real desire to move forward. After all, I had lost everything that mattered. Life as I knew it was over. I worked crummy jobs and got up in the morning only because I couldn't sleep any longer. I never moved beyond the events that occurred, never let go.
2 years later in 2008 I was still clinging to the past and dwelling on the loss. I made no forward progress and I didn't just dislike myself, I despised myself. I hated who I was, what I'd done, what I hadn't done, what I could have done.... you get the picture. I had no goals, no purpose and no love. I spent my nights reckless and drinking enough not only to forget but to black out. I developed relationships with unhealthy people and didn't think twice about it. Soon I found a solution to my heartache in the form of a tiny blue pill: Oxycontin.
The first time I tried Oxycontin, the common practice of abuse was to crush the pill and snort it nasally, so that's what I did. The immediate rush of energy and euphoria was something I had been lacking for over 2 years at that point. All it took was that first time, I wasn't giving this up for anything. I felt like my confidence rushed right back in and even though I still had no purpose, I felt amazing. I continued to use sparingly at first, starting just on the weekends. Then moved on to a few nights during the week plus the weekend, and before I knew it, I was using multiple times a day. At work, at home, in the car, anywhere and everywhere. Up until that point all I had learned about Oxycontin was how wonderful it was, the energy it gave; nothing about the horrible pain caused by not having it. Soon my money started to run out so I "borrowed" money from family members. I had every intention of giving it back before they found out (obviously that never happened). To prevent this from becoming a novel (since that's already in the works ;-]) I lost my job, couldn't afford my pills, was getting sicker and sicker and miserable again. I was introduced to a kid who had "something just like Oxys" for 1/4 of the price. Heroin.
I always swore I'd never touch the stuff..... to be continued....
